Tuesday, February 15, 2022

Day 4: Nervous to tell your friends? Here’s what to say

You might be surprised at how much support you get.
Alcohol Reset Challenge

DAY 4 OF 7

Nervous to Tell Your Friends? Here's What to Say

Once you've determined your boundaries, your next step involves putting them into practice — and that means sharing them with your friends and loved ones.

It's understandable to feel a little nervous about how they'll react to your choice, especially if you frequently drink together. While you might feel tempted to say nothing at all and deal with sticky situations as they come up, the open-and-upfront route is usually best.

Letting people know you won't be drinking can make it easier to stick with your commitment, for one. But you might even find some unexpected company. It's possible others in your circle might take the chance to get a little sober curious themselves.

For today's challenge: Share the news about your upcoming plans with the people you usually drink with, like friends, certain family members, and co-workers.

Not sure what to say? Try something along these lines:

"Hey! I just wanted to let you know I'm trying to avoid alcohol for a month. I won't be drinking, but I'm still totally down to get dinner/hang out for Netflix night/play board games."

Telling people in person? Slip it into the conversation casually:

  • "Oh, that reminds me! I'm doing a month without alcohol, so count me out for the pub night next month."
  • "My sleep has been pretty rotten lately. I'm actually going to stop drinking for a month to see if that helps."

You can also take this opportunity to state your boundaries:

  • "I'm doing a sober month, so let's skip the bar and plan a picnic in the park!"
  • "I don't mind if you drink around me, but please don't offer me any alcohol."

Feel free to offer as many (or as few) details as you like, but therapist Cyndi Turner, LCSW, LSATP, MAC, recommends a direct approach. A firm and assertive "I won't be drinking for a month" doesn't leave much room for people to try to change your mind.

Remember, quitting drinking doesn't make you a "buzzkill." Your boundaries reflect your needs, and no one gets to talk you out of them.

Stating your boundaries can feel difficult at first, but it does get easier as time goes on. Something else that gets easier? Finding new ways to relax without alcohol. Get the details tomorrow!

Until tomorrow,
The Healthline Team

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